Forever's Sojourn to Maine

My sister came to visit this past weekend and expressed a desire to see New Hampshire while she was in town. I wasn't sure if she meant that I point it out to her on a map, or if spying it through binoculars near the state line would do. She intimated nothing specific about what she wanted to see or do in New Hampshire; an entire state she simply wanted to "see." In fact, her exact words were, "I've never seen New Hampshire...I would really like to do that while I am visiting."

I consulted two friends who were from the state (briefly wondering if I could just introduce them to her and have that count as our visit) and found that they were equally perplexed as I was as to how to show someone an entire state. Perhaps even more vexing, was the fact that both expressed bewilderment as to why someone would want to visit New Hampshire. One actually remarked that drinking in Boston would be a better alternative to drinking in New Hampshire, which was his only recommendation of things to do in New Hampshire.

Back to square one, I set off for the local library intent on figuring out what to do in New Hampshire and quickly found the solution in a guidebook to Maine. So early on Monday morning my sister roused me out of bed (around 9:00) and we set off for the lower corner of Maine (briefly passing through a sliver of New Hampshire on our way, at which point I considered my obligations as host complete). However, I was pleasantly surprised when we reached the sleepy town of Kennebunkport, Maine. Arriving at 11:00 in the morning and emaciated from skipping breakfast due to my early wake up, we set out on foot to find a diner that would eagerly serve us. What we found was that half of the town was abandoned for the winter. What establishments that remained in business throughout these frigid months weren't open on Mondays, save two, and those two didn't transact any business until 11:30.

I fell in love with the place, though not at first. While most people, starving and exhausted from a whirlwind tour of the Southeast corner of New Hampshire via I-95, would have been peeved by the lack of food, I understood it. I didn't' love it--yet--but I got Kennebunkport. Everybody (who works) hates Monday. To most people, the hatred of Mondays usually taints their Sundays nights. In fact, I was so loathsome of Mondays that Saturday mornings I found myself struggling to get out of bed, simply because I knew what was coming. So what better way to start the week off, than by not going to work? It's what I have been doing for months.

People in Kennebunkport, who actually have jobs, just don't work on Mondays. Half of the store owners actually shut down entirely for half of the year. In fact, most of these propieters are so eager to shut down, they forget to take down their "Open" signs in the process causing many a weary traveler to shout expletives and wish damnation upon them while kicking their double-locked doors and knocking over their sandwich signs for feeling so deceived after having first felt so delighted at the prospect of a warm meal, before said traveler realizes his blood sugar is dangerously low and his resultant foul mood might land him in trouble with the town's one cop, who has been watching him assault various "Open" cafes throughout the entire southern side of Main Street.

Of course, once 11:30 came around and FU was finally sated with a Philly Cheese Steak, his love of the town came to him. And upon further refection, I can't harbor bad feelings at those store owners who deceived me. I blame those store owners who keep ridiculous hours, inducing all of us to expect commerce to continue around the clock, throughout the year, thus forcing people to work all the time as well. In fact, if it was the end of the season I'd probably forget to take down the "Open" sign as well. I'd be so eager to leave, I'd probably forget to turn off the lights or lock the doors. I'd probably leave a day early and forget to tell anyone I was going. That's what the town of Kennebunkport is all about, and that's why I see myself retiring there some day....